-Stephen Covey, Seven Basic Habits of Highly Effective People

Carly (4 ½) takes a bunch of instruments out, gives a drum to mom, the autoharp to me, takes 2 shakers herself and sticks a recorder in her mouth.  I ask her what she wants us to do – Echo what she does or add onto what she does?  She decides add-on.  She begins, an amorphous rhythm, then points to mom, who adds on, then me.  There we are, shaking, tapping, tooting and banging, and I begin to feel squirmy.  What are we doing, I think.  There’s no sign of purpose or cohesion.  Is anything worthwhile happening? But the child is excited, so we continue. What must her mother be thinking?  Maybe I should try to explain…  The impulse to direct, comment, or at least grunt a response of approval is strong, and I have to stop myself a few times.  I try to feel calm.

After a few minutes, something begins to emerge, a kind of connection among us, a bit of rhythm.  It’s far from orderly, not even musical exactly, but it feels the way it does when you’re kneading dough and the gluten begins to develop.  We’re glued together.